M6

Depression

Dean Borcik

Symptoms?
"I was angry at the world and I consistently felt down for no apparent reason."

Why did you decide to go to the doctor?
"I actually decided to go the doctor because of an ad on TV I had seen about depression. It asked all these questions and every one I answered seemed to be yes. It came to my attention that I may be depressed so I decided to take action."

Diagnosis?
"The doctor came in and just started asking me an assortment of questions. That was all he really did and then he came to the conclusion that I was depressed."

Major Challenges?
"Marriage was great and everything seemed to be okay so I just blamed it on my job. I almost left a job that I loved and had had for 10 years."

What was it like to live with Depression?
"It was pretty much Hell. I didn't want to associate with anyone. Just wanted to be alone."

Treatment?
"At that point, they immediately put me on medicine. It was just more of an interview process rather than any sort of tests. Over the years, I have tried to stop taking it before and I can't. I just go back down that same road; nothing has been seeming to help except the medicine. The doctors told me that I could take the medicine and they would take me off of it after a while but we tried that, and I just couldn't do it."

Who/what helped?
"No, with depression, no. I couldn't find anything. Not even talking to Junior, my best friend, could help. I didn't even want to talk to him.

How do you feel now since dealing with your problem?

"I'm absolutely fine nowadays. Just a typical, simple sadness will come about sometimes but I still have feelings. I haven't been necessarily depressed." 

Austin Borcik 

Symptoms? 

"I hated things that I normal enjoyed and evidently, I didn't want to talk to anybody. I just wanted to be in my room alone. I didn't feel hungry and I didn't eat as much as I typically would and as a football player, I can tell you that is a lot. I just felt an overwhelming sadness that I just couldn't change. Everything and anything seemed to go or be against me."

Why did you decide to go to the doctor? 

"I was tired of being sad; I didn't understand what was going on so I thought why not ask a professional. My mom, dad and sister have all been diagnosed with depression so I thought it might have started there."

Diagnosis? 

"My diagnosis was just that -- I was depressed. I wasn't sure whether that made me happy or sad: happy because there was a reason why I was upset or sad because I couldn't really fix it myself. 

Major Challenges? 

"Maintaining relationships. It's kind of hard to keep a relationship with someone when you don't want to talk or do anything. Like I said, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't even want to play football anymore; I hated it. And I most definitely didn't want to go to school." 

What was it like to live with Depression? 

"Well, like my dad said, it was hell. I felt lost. I felt like I had no control. I felt like I didn't want to be here even though I knew that everything was okay, it sure didn't feel like it."

Treatment? 

"The doctor put me on medication and told me to come back in three months to talk about it more, see where I was at." 

Who/what helped? 

"Obviously besides for the medicine, my fiancee Hallie. Even though our wants and needs at the time may have conflicted and lead to some arguments, she still made me feel better. She was the only person I wanted to be around, the only person I wanted to talk to. Sadly, I didn't want to tell her how exactly I was feeling because I didn't want to hurt her." 

How do you feel now since dealing with your problem? 

"Honestly, I feel amazing; I feel better than ever. I'm doing good in school and I actually want to play football. I'm getting married to the love of my life in June. I'm not always 'the perfect guy' either but hey, life's good; it's going great." 

Analysis/ Comparisons

Well the data and answers seemed to line up  pretty well. My father and I seemed to struggle in lots of the same areas. A constant uneasiness, never knowing how to fix it. We just wanted to be alone. But most of all we wanted to be happy.

Learning

We all have struggles, some feel they cannot do anything about it; not alone. Truly all you have to do is ask, from talking with others to medication we can be helped. Mental illness is not shameful, stand up and fight your fight. You are greater than you struggle.